A small minority of us are lucky to be born as the brilliant blue diamonds and shimmering black opals that they are. Most of us, however, are rough, quartz material that needs to be rubbed, polished, cut open and, even, worn down.
We are hard rocks that require both small and great forces, like bumping into each other and heating up, in order to transform into the magnificent crystals that we are.
I believe that this is what life is for, and that our interactions and engagement with other human beings is – more than any other accomplishments or experiences can provide – exactly what we need in order to grow, change and evolve.
A meaningful meeting space is a place where people can get tumbled together, just like stones. It is a place where edges can get rubbed off, corners made less sharp and worn, lined faces can become like clear glass, offering a reflection that is both comforting and familiar.
Most of us spent our early childhoods being tossed and thrown around the tumbler of life.
Our parents were victims themselves who knew not how to create a less chaotic environment. Then, many of us grew up to become parents ourselves as well as people who aim to more intentionally wield the movement of our homes like popcorn kernels over heat. We turn the house from side to side, and shake it up every so often, because we are working with life’s natural processes in aiming for our children to pop into their maturity as well-defined individuals who each bring their own tasty, nutritious magic to any given moment.
Although we aim to create homes where our children feel “safe,” a misguided perception of safety can sometimes erroneously look like a lack of pressure. Just like in cooking, there are moments when we need to turn up the heat in order to create a specific result. And, there are other times, when we must let our creation cool down, and just be. Plus, growing up is an uncomfortable process. Having to do things that we don’t think we want to do is not pleasure-filled. As the great Eleanor Roosevelt said, “With more freedom comes greater responsibility.” And being responsible isn’t always fun. Sometimes, it feels like a burden and a heavy weight.
Getting knocked around in the tumbler of life can, sometimes, help us to shift this perspective as well as knock the chip off of our shoulders. We get to do this. We are here, right now, for this specific purpose – to keep growing up, to lose our sense of self to discomfort and insecurity over and over again only then to find ourselves, once more, more wizened by the process. And that is quite a privilege.