It was 13 years ago, while a graduate student at Goddard College, that I kept hearing the refrain, “TRUST the process.”
It was a popular adage, and one that I was sure to diligently repeat – even though I had no clue as to what it actually meant!
At that time, I was moving through a ‘blue’ phase in my life. I was 29 years old and caught up within the heavy emotional waters that my Saturn Return brought with it.
My One Earth Body photography, at that time, reflected it.
These photos are from 2005, which is a time period immediately following on the heels of a great fire that decimated most of Cuyamaca RanchoState Park. My partner, at the time, and I spent many weekends camping at Paso Picacho campground.
This is also a state park where I spent my second week away from my parent’s house, at a camp for the children who were safety guards at their elementary schools.
The parched, soot-laden landscape was a living metaphor for how I was experiencing my Soul, at that time. My Saturn Return ripped open an abandonment wound – something I didn’t even know I had – which dates back to being left alone – in my crib, in my own room on a floor below my parents and siblings, to cry it out – when I was a baby.
Drawn to photography as a child, my mother packed her point and shoot camera
into my overnight bag for my week away at 5th grade camp. It was then that I experienced the camera
as a means of creating connection between myself and others.
The camera brought me closer and into other people’s worlds, which is something I have always wanted &, yet,
desperately fear. I always want in, I just don’t know how to get there – especially through words.
To this day, I remain most comfortable with connecting to others through my body.
Words can be so confusing and, sometimes, even disconnected from meaning, or motivation.
Our bodies, however,
Thus, intimacy – for me – is scary. I have also had to teach myself the rudimentary keys for communication & partnership.
It took me along time to learn how to be with people. I am still learning.
The camera was and is a means for me to connect with others, and with myself.
It is also a way for me to tell Mother Earth’s story.
In taking up the staff of my life,
I claim my voice
as an Embodiment & Interdisciplinary Artist.
My work is now for sale.